I find myself conflicted. I love giving presents to people. I will also admit that I love to receive presents. (But giving is much better.) I love looking for or making the perfect gifts for people. I'm unemployed and broke, so things are trickier now. I've cut back A LOT but Karen and I are not stopping our gift giving. We've become much more frugal, thrifty and creative. I've never been a person to just buy something for someone. In typical Steph fashion, I often stress over it, looking for the perfect thing. I've always dabbled in coupons and have begun to do so evenmore. By no means am I one of those extreme couponers, but when I can save a few dollars here and there on things we already buy, I'm happy. I get a little thrill and rush out of it.
Karen and I spent yesterday Christmas shopping. We've been picking up things here and here, but yesterday we knocked most of our key people off of our list. We are buying quality gifts at great savings. We're quite pleased with our purchases. A few people have us stumped, but we will figure it out. Karen is on vacation next week and we have plans for day trips that include hitting up our favorite stores at the beach and maybe even an outlet here or there. Good times. We have a funeral to attend Saturday so we won't be supporting "Small Business Saturday" which saddens me but the funeral obviously takes precedence. I am not complaining about it, simply explaining our actions.
Why am I conflicted? I'm conflicted because, while I love shopping, it sometimes makes me feel guilty. I HATE that stores are opening tonight (Thanksgiving). It's bad enough that store open early on Black Friday but now they open at midnight or earlier. We were at two malls yesterday- a nice mall (Columbia) opens at 6am Friday. An awful mall (Marley) opens at 4am. Why? It's all about GREED. There is NOTHING you need from a retail store on Thanksgiving Day. Fine, have a grocery store open for a bit for last minute items or to rescue burned dishes. Then, close. I won't be mad if they don't open at all. In my travels, I discovered that Dollar Tree and Old Navy are among the stores opening on Thanksgiving Day, ALL DAY! WHY?! Seriously, this pisses me off.
I worked retail for too many years and I probably will (hopefully!) again next year. Yes, be thankful you have a job. What happened about spending time with family and friends? Isn't that what the season is about? (I'm not bringing religion into this post but people can..I was just saving that for another blog.) The holidays are hard for me (and many others) because I think of those who are no longer with us and I think about my situation and sometimes I feel bad about it. I have a lot of "what-ifs" and wonder what "would've been." I am thankful for my life, don't get me wrong. I am by no means at the bottom of the barrel. Sure, I'm unemployed, sick with cancer and broke, but I have a good life. I am surrounded by family and friends who love me, accept me and support me. I do not take that for granted.
Karen (and I and many other people) lost a very special friend to cancer this week. We will struggle through her viewing tomorrow and the funeral Saturday but we will get better. We will remember the happy times and remind ourselves that she is out of pain.
Hug your special people extra hard today and every day.
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