Aintnobodysbusiness...or is it?

e·van·ge·lism

   [ih-van-juh-liz-uhm]  

noun

1.

the preaching or promulgation of the gospel; the work of an evangelist.

2.

evangelicalism.

3.

missionary zeal, purpose, or activity.

e·van·ge·list

   [ih-van-juh-list] 

noun

1.

a Protestant minister or layperson who serves as an itinerantor special preacher, especially a revivalist.

2.

a preacher of the gospel.

3.

( initial capital letter ) any of the writers (Matthew, Mark,Luke, and John) of the four Gospels.

4.

(in the primitive church) a person who first brought thegospel to a city or region.

5.

( initial capital letter ) Mormon Church . a patriarch.

Is your faith private or public?  How does evangelism play a part in  your life and faith? Our Sunday sermon spoke on this and it really got me thinking.  Father Shawn said that Christian faith MUST be public for Biblical Christians. I never thought of myself as a Biblical Christian, so I glossed over it.  

Are people in your lives surprised you attend church? In my case, the answer is "yes."  Here's a brief history of myself and the church. I was baptized Episcopalian at my mom's church (Church of the Advent) in Baltimore City.  Around kindergarten, we switched to a big Lutheran church in Linthicum (St John Lutheran Church). I was very active in that church- Sunday school, first communion, Vacation Bible School, Confirmation, serving on the altar, youth group (Kids for Christ) and helping teach Sunday School.  I stopped going my senior year of high school.  I went to church every Sunday but I never learned the Bible.  I know a few stories but I don't know verses. I don't want to.  When it came time for college, I was kind of turned off by organized religion due to some (in my opinion) greediness of my church.  I went to Juniata College which as loosely affiliated with the Church of the Brethren. I attended a service once or twice but that's it. Good friends of mine were Catholic but I knew that wasn't for me.  I stopped going to church and "did my own thing."  Fast forward many years and I started dating my partner, Karen.  I started attending her church (St Andrews Episcopal Church) and have been there for 2 1/2 years.  It's a small church, completely different than St Johns.  Small is good a lot of the times. It's a good church.  Very accepting of us as a couple. I struggle with my faith A LOT.  I believe in God and I know I'm going to Heaven, but after that, things get fuzzy. I mentioned to my neighbor (she's like my second mom) that I did something with church and she was surprised. My dad and brother are both surprised that I attend. They aren't upset or anything like that, just surprised. They know the issues I've had with the church. 

At first, I went to church for Karen and to support her.  Honestly, I did that until just recently. See, when I first started attending, I tried to "get into  it" but it just didn't work. I felt guilty, like I was going through the motions and not getting anything out of it. I never really "felt God" or anything like that. I think I'm much more spiritual than I give myself credit for.  Father Shawn jokes A LOT that an Episcopal service isn't easy to get used to. You don't really jump right in. See, we use our  Book of Common Prayer,  Bible, hymnal and two books of music (we call them the purple book and the green book)  You flip back and forth between the books all service. It's not hard, just not comfortable at first.   A few weeks ago, I started "getting it" a bit more. I've mentioned with a dear friend how I wanted to start reading the Bible. Not to memorize it, but to read it as sort of a historical document.  I have a daily devotional that Karen and I will start using together but I wanted something more.  My good friend sent me a copy of her favorite version of the Bible. I've read a little from it and I think if I allow myself, I will "get into it." See, I have horrible ADD.  

"To know Christ and make him known."  That's the slogan of St Andrews- it's on the top of our bulletin.  What does this mean?  I don't hide my faith. In fact, I ask questions of friends (mostly on facebook) a lot. But, I don't "spread the word" by preaching. I have nothing against you if you do. In fact, I have a lot of friends who share Bible verses daily and that's fine.  I respect you for being comfortable in your faith.  IF you are comfortable in your faith. I feel that my friends are truly involved.  They don't spout off verses to "look good in God's eyes."  This is one of my biggest complaints with some organized religion. People do it because they think that's what they are supposed to do.  Do it because that's what you feel.  

How do you spread the word?  I think it starts by inviting people to events at your church and going from there. Father Shawn is sincere when he says  he will help you share your faith.  Everything from praying with you about it to developing a plan and going from there.  My mom comes to church occasionally, as her work schedule allows it.  She will come to events, as her work schedule allows it.  I'm more about fellowship, but I think that's another blog.  (But, as I mentioned, that is changing.)

Father Shawn ended his sermon with this: "How can you believe in God, if you've never heard Him."

Is faith private? Public? In between? Depends on the situation?  How do you share your faith?

To be [greedy] or not to be [greedy], that is the question.

I find myself conflicted. I love giving presents to people. I will also admit that I love to receive presents. (But giving is much better.) I love looking for or making the perfect gifts for people.  I'm unemployed and broke, so things are trickier now. I've cut back A LOT but Karen and I are not stopping our gift giving. We've become much more frugal, thrifty and creative. I've never been a person to just buy something for someone. In typical Steph fashion, I often stress over it, looking for the perfect thing.  I've always dabbled in coupons and have begun to do so evenmore.  By no means am I one of those extreme couponers, but when I can save a few dollars here and there on things we already buy, I'm happy. I get a little thrill and rush out of it.

Karen and I spent yesterday Christmas shopping. We've been picking up things here and here, but yesterday we knocked most of our key people off of our list.  We are buying quality gifts at great savings.  We're quite pleased with our purchases. A few people have us stumped, but we will figure it out. Karen is on vacation next week and we have plans for day trips that include hitting up our favorite stores at the beach and maybe even an outlet here or there.  Good times. We have a funeral to attend Saturday so we won't be supporting "Small Business Saturday" which saddens me but the funeral obviously takes precedence.  I am not complaining about it, simply explaining our actions.

Why am I conflicted?  I'm conflicted because, while I love shopping, it sometimes makes me feel guilty.  I HATE that stores are opening tonight (Thanksgiving). It's bad enough that store open early on Black Friday but now they open at midnight or earlier.  We were at two malls yesterday- a nice mall (Columbia) opens at 6am Friday. An awful mall (Marley) opens at 4am. Why?  It's all about GREED.  There is NOTHING you need from a retail store on Thanksgiving Day.  Fine, have a grocery store open for a bit for last minute items or to rescue burned dishes. Then, close.  I won't be mad if they don't open at all.  In my travels, I discovered that Dollar Tree and Old Navy are among the stores opening on Thanksgiving Day, ALL DAY!  WHY?!  Seriously, this pisses me off.

I worked retail for too many years and I probably will (hopefully!) again next year.  Yes, be thankful you have a job. What happened about spending time with family and friends?  Isn't that what the season is about?  (I'm not bringing religion into this post but people can..I was just saving that for another blog.)  The holidays are hard for me (and many others) because I think of those who are no longer with us and I think about my situation and sometimes I feel bad about it. I have a lot of  "what-ifs" and wonder what "would've been."   I am thankful for my life, don't get me wrong.  I am by no means at the bottom of the barrel.  Sure, I'm unemployed, sick with cancer and broke, but I have a good life. I am surrounded by family and friends who love me, accept me and support me.  I do not take that for granted.

Karen (and I and many other people) lost a very special friend to cancer this week.  We will struggle through her viewing tomorrow and the funeral Saturday but we will get better. We will remember the happy times and remind ourselves that she is out of pain.

Hug your special people extra hard today and every day.

Why did God make the sky blue and white? For Penn State, of course.

I can't get the Penn State sex abuse scandal off of my heart and mind.  When I think it can't get any worse, it does. Lots of people are talking about it. Lots of people are making their own judgments, myself included.

Some questions/debate points I've come across:

Why have the victims waited so long to come forward?  Why do people say Joe Paterno and his people are Godlike?  Why isn't Sandusky under house arrest or wearing an electronic monitoring bracelet? What did or didn't Penn State know about the allegations? What did or didn't the police know about the allegations?

My take on these issues...

I think the victims are completely justified in not coming forward. (Who knows, maybe they did come forward  earlier and were 'hushed.')  There are many fears in coming forward, including: shame, embarrassment, self doubt and blame, fear and being afraid you won't be believed.  Is what happened my fault? Did I lead (my alleged attacker) on or send him/her mixed signals?  Did I over react?  There must be something wrong with me for this to have happened. I deserved what happened.  No one will believe me. It's my word against theirs.  I'm this little nobody and they are an important, well respected person.

[Some] people think Joe Paterno is God like, it's true. In my experience, Penn State sports (football, especially) are taken extremely seriously. Penn State is located in State College, PA which is pretty much the dead center of PA.  In terms of NFL teams, you have the Eagles in Philly which is the extreme eastern part of the state and you have the Steelers in Pittsburgh which is the extreme western part of the state.  PA is a large state and that leaves the central portion with no one to truly root for, so they go for Penn State. Penn State is a great institution- many great academic programs, a strong athletic program (I could blog about that for a long time about my negative thoughts on that!) and fabulous culture. I went to college a bit south of State College and we would drive up to do 'stuff' because our town (Huntingdon) had nothing. Not even a Walmart when I was there. But, I digress.  You have this HUGE Division I powerhouse.  Their coach (Paterno) had been their coach forever. Kids grow up wanting to go to this fabled institution. I did not participate in sports (shocking, I know!) but my brother did. He's  an odd bird, but even he looked up to coaches. Coached are leaders who mold and guide you.  How can such a leader do wrong in someone's eye?

This is just my opinion, but Sandusky isn't wearing an electronic monitoring device because of who he knew/who knew him. From what I know, the judge presiding over the hearing was/is a donor to his foundation.  This is, quite simply, a hot mess.  I don't know where this trial(s) will be held without people having opinions.  Out of Penn State's division?  On the other side of the country? No, that won't work. One part of the country wants to skin him/them alive and the other part supports him/her.

I'm really troubled by what Penn State and the police did and didn't know about the allegations prior to everything hitting the media.  My gut tells me that some people at the university knew and covered it up. For the sake of their athletic program. I'm not saying this happened for certain, but let's throw some fear and maybe even money at these people making these accusations. That'll shut them up and save the face of our program. Or, who is going to listen to these people?  We're Goliath's here who have the support of millions of alumni and supporters.  The police..oh, the police. I have mixed feelings on the police but I truly hope they didn't know anything.  Their duty is to 'protect and  serve' not to 'hide and cover up.'  I fully support the Department of Education and the NCAA investigating EVERYTHING. I don't know if we'll ever know exactly what happened, but hopefully we can come close. These monsters need to be put away.

I feel for the students, athletes, alumni and fans who are hurt and effected by this.  I feel for the seniors on the football team who lost out on the splendor and magic of their final season.  I hope they find the answers and comfort they need.

Moral Obligation vs a college athletic program

This has been laying heavy on my mind and heart. I don't know how to express myself so I will just start writing.

The Penn State sex scandal is an unfathomable incident. It's more of an incident. What's the better word for it?  You have a man accused of molesting many many boys over a long period of time. You have a person who witnessed one of the incidents, went to his boss and then dropped it. Like it was going to go away. Why did people not go to the police?  Even if it's not required by law, isn't there such as thing as "moral obligation"????  How can you live with yourself by allowing this monster to continue to live among us?

Was this done to protect your holier-than-thou football program?  If so, it disgusts me even more.  Most people know that I attended college in Central Pennsylvania. I was never a Penn State fan. I never got sucked up in the hoopla. Those people treat Penn State like a church- Joe Paterno was Godlike. Didn't you know God made the sky blue and white in honor Penn State?!  I always thought JoePa was way beyond his prime and needed to retire a long time ago. Don't get me wrong- I LOVE college football. I DO NOT love people covering things up. I HATE when college programs, generally athletic programs and participants, are held at a different standard than the rest of the school.

So, you witness a man molesting a boy in a shower (in a college building, no less). You tell your boss and he tells his boss. You know they don't go to the police. Why don't YOU go to the police?!  Are you too bothered by it? Are you afraid it will tarnish Penn State's image? Are you afraid you will lose your job?  Are you afraid the molester will retaliate against you?  How can you live with this information?  What about the victim(s)?  Are they less important than your athletic program???

Sure, JoePa announced his retirement (for the end of this season) before he was fired. I give mad props to the Board of Trustees (BOT) for firing JoePa and the University President. They had to. Seriously, how could they not?! JoePa resigned because he knew he HAD TO. He feels guilty- now. I suppose now is better than never, but it's still too little too late.

I'm glad the Department of Education is investigating these allegations. The way I read it, they are investigating because some of the alleged misconduct occurred on college property and someone did not report it to the Dept of Education, which is required by law. Again, why hide it?  No one wants their image tarnished. BUT, this situation would be MUCH BETTER had it come out way back then. Instead, people are questioning the entire college.

I also find it very interesting that none of this really came to head until AFTER JoePa won his record breaking game. Also, just after Election Day. Coincidences?  I think not.

I could go on and on about this topic. Many of my friends are diehard Penn State fans. Many share my opinions and a few don't. A few a still supporting Paterno.  How? Why?  I know he didn't personally sexually assault the victims but they did not help the situation.

The whole situation makes me sick.

Not in my backyard

Councilman opposed to new apartment project, calls subsidized rent a ‘cancer’ on Glen Burnie | MDGazette.com

You have to read this article! If you don't, here's my synopsis: A developer wants to build apartments that will be affordable to county residents. A county councilman (who happens to be a Republican by the name John Grasso) opposes this idea. See, Grasso isn't just a councilman, he's a landlord (and many say he's a slumlord). He gave some really great quotes to the reporter, such as, " “What kind of person only pays $380 a month in rent?” Grasso said. “Not a quality person we want in our neck of the woods. Please go somewhere else. We got a whole city by the name of Baltimore.” Wow, just wow. HELLO! Not all low income people are criminals. What kind of person pays $380 a month in rent? The person who can only afford that! Yes, there are people who abuse the system. But, believe me, the 'system' is not easy to get into. There's a crazy long waiting list for housing vouchers. Grasso manages apartment units that are notorious for drug activity and concedes that he has made poor choices in the past in choosing tenants who ended up being drug dealers. Mr Grasso is accused of being a slumlord who doesn't take care of his units. Yes, there are two sides to every story but the accusations are out there. Besides his ignorance, who says, "We got"?! Yes, I make lots of grammatical mistakes, but I"m not being quoted in the newspaper!

Where are people supposed to live? Am I supposed to live on the streets or hope I can get a bed in a shelter? He wants all housing vouchers to be used in Baltimore. So, let's segregate people by classes. Hhhmmm I thought we were above that?! Why not have people from different walks of life live together in the same neighborhoods? Why is this so difficult?

Most people know that I have security issues and that I get scared. A LOT. Brooklyn (MD) is known to be not the safest place. My grandmother went to church in Brooklyn and I spent a lot of time there growing up. The neighborhood has changed...a lot...over the years. Sure, nobody wants to look over their shoulder everywhere they go. But, let's live in reality. We all have areas that we are a little more careful of. How about we give people a chance to live a 'normal' life, no matter what their economic status? Make housing affordable. Make it nice housing. I'm not saying designer duds or a waterfront view (hello, Annapolis housing!) but 'normal' housing. Let's make the landlord or management company keep up with things. Keep up with repairs, no rodents or roaches, working smoke and carbon monoxide detectors, etc.

The second we segregate people into different classes, we have HUGE issues. Most people know that I feel strongly that everyone is equal. Black, white, gay, straight, bi, transgendered, Asian, Latino, male, female, police officer, teacher, doctor, retail worker, food service, etc. We are the same and should be treated as such. You should not get in more trouble for killing one person over killing another person. A person is a person. This gets tricky with hate crimes. Deep down, I don't think there should be hate crime laws. Maybe should is the wrong word. I wish we didn't NEED hate crime laws. But, some crimes are committed out of hate versus some crimes are committed just 'because." I know some people disagree with this. Maybe they've never encountered being hated by someone. I have. It is not fun. I have been judged and hated because of my sexuality. What business is it of yours who I love? Why do you care? It does not effect you in the slightest. While I am vocal about gay rights, I don't push my life on you. I won't even call it a 'lifestyle' because it's just my life. Do people call it a 'straight lifestyle'? I think not.

Okay, I've gotten way off topic. My original point is that I'm sad that I live in a county that has a person like this on my county council. There's another councilman (Derek Fink) who also opposes the proposed affordable housing. He's a local guy who is a part owner in a new restaurant/bar. He won't come out with his own opinion, always saying "my constituents." But I think he lacks back-up. I don't know. He just seems weasily to me. Too many closed minded folks around these parts for me. It's liek this peninsula is stuck way back in time. It scares me.

As Rodney King said, "Can't we all just get along?!"

Councilman opposed to new apartment project, calls subsidized rent a ‘cancer’ on Glen Burnie | MDGazette.com

Councilman opposed to new apartment project, calls subsidized rent a ‘cancer’ on Glen Burnie | MDGazette.com

The Beginning.

I decided to give this whole blog thing another try.  I've been doing a lot of self discovery these last few months and I thought this might be a good outlet to share. I'd like to use this to learn, to share and just to rant. Everyone knows I'm GREAT at ranting. My rants often get me in trouble. I'm working on that. Baby steps.

I'm hoping that my friends will read this and give me feedback and comments.  I'm all about a good discussion!